This post is completely off the cuff and unintended. I’ve been completely consumed by personal events and while I may chip away in other social channels I feel that this little base of mine has been unattended.

So why do I say that this post isn’t intentional, well for one I don’t really have anything of note to say. I have been doing a few WordPress jobs recently and thought I’d refer back to one of my plug-ins. While here I felt strangely motivated to type something but while I don’t feel the need to dive in and lay myself bare I do take some comfort from having written even these short words.

Perhaps I will feel that I can do the same on a daily basis, or at very least some frequency resembling periodic.

Typography | Cave Johnson Lemons from Ignis. Greed on Vimeo.

“My life’s work,” she says. But, it isn’t her life’s work.

You see, we store information like an Escher painting.
It shouldn’t all fit in there. But, it does.
And every day we manage to fit more and more into smaller and smaller spaces until one day
she says,
we will be able to fit all the information the world has
everything that everyone knows and believes and dreams
into nothing.

It will all be there. Stored and filed.
Tagged with any keywords you might imagine.

Our hard drives will be thin air.

They will make nanobots look like elephants.
And elephants will be in there too. Tagged. Accessible with search terms
like grey, ivory and the largest land dwelling mammal

We will process away at nothing and understand everything.
We will think of the word and the information will slip in, not through our ears or eyes –
but straight thorough our skin. Information will breathe in and out of us.

Permeate our skin and knowing will as deep as it does wide.
You see, our work here is to learn so much,

to be so full of knowing,
that all there is left to do is unlearn.

Humanity must get to a point where we let go.
Leave the useless ideas and the spent ideologies in the recycle bin.
like an adolescent brain shedding neurons.
like a snake slithering from its old skin.
like an old man who has come to understand so well the point where reality meets the intangible that he is able to decide which breath will be his last. And, he will enjoy that breath more than any other he has taken his entire life.

And, her life’s work is more than four meg flash drive.

My life’s work, she says, is the impact that this has.

This is not about what I produce. This is about what others receive.

-Daniel Donahoo

In Bb

If you’re wondering why I bring up such a morbid question its not that I’ve just been delivered some news of impending health problems or other notice of doom. I just found out that the father of the author (Daniel Jalkut) of the software (MarsEdit) I use to blog passed away and, in a timely correspondence, a user brought up the subject of wanting to blog as much as he can for his son before he dies.

In my case I don’t suppose anyone will think to check my hosting payments and that within a nominal amount of time after the next payment became due the blog would cease to exist along with myself. With so much being published onto the internet on a daily basis its a fact of life that the scenario will be played out many times.

Of course there are free alternatives such as Blogspot and even social networking sites but while I don’t know anything of their retention policies nothing can be classed as permanent as Geocites users will tell you.

Maybe its a question for future digital archaeologists to answer as they pick through old backups and long forgotten caches.

In the meantime I offer Daniel my condolences.

Then i can return to sitting in front of my computer screen grumbling about wasting the day.

While both the iPhone and Twitter are fantastic in what they do there are things that suffer. Both offer an immediacy in the flow of information that has changed many ways I do and enjoy things. One example is watching event TV while watching Live comments via Twitter. It all makes for a communal viewing event that enhances the experience. I can also take photos and without going through the camera>iPhoto>flickr>blog I can snap and Tweet. An example of this would be the recent #uksnow feed where I could not only Tweet weather conditions but actually show the pics to a live audience. This is where I come back to my opening statement. Sometimes we need to slow down.

One negative aspect of iPhone and Twitter is that I’ve stopped regularly posting to the blog. I’m too busy blurting out things I’m doing or what I’m thinking that there often is nothing left to blog that doesn’t feel like I’m repeating myself. And my photos have gone from me studying fine detail and form in upwards of ten megapixel detail to Polaroidesque snaps. I feel I’ve lost something that needs to be put back. I also feel that I’ve lost a purpose, something to look forward to. Something to provide ‘wantage’ and I think I may have found a solution to my problem.

From where I’m sat I can see a Sony DSC-T9 pocket camera that has served me well. If I was to look down the stairs I could see a Nikon D60 but I have no urge to use either of them, you see the Olympus PEN has worked its spell and got under my skin. I want one but I don’t think I need one, but there’s something about it I can’t quite see. A bit like Jack Skellington trying to work out what Christmas is.. What can it be?! What can it be?! I told Jayne who told me to just go out and buy one but I’m enjoying the mystery of it all at the moment. The feeling in the gut, the want. And why I’m still working out what this PEN is (its not a pocket camera and its not a nice big SLR) I do think that it will give me some enthusiasm to be more creative again. To make me slow down, stop and look at what’s around me.

That can only be a good thing, right?

Skip forward to the morning after the night before I woke up with a Tom and Jerry style lump on my head and a 6″ cut down my side. The story goes that having passed out on a deck chair I woke and tried to haul myself to bed only to find that my legs had other plans. I’d gone arse over tit and planted myself in the wall via the patio heater.

Somethings are best not remembered.

I have a mate who develops iPhone apps and I occasionally do some graphic design for him on icons, etc. I suppose because of that you could officially class me as part of his team and a developer also. Anyway this opened the door to the 3.0 beta and I’ve been living with it since March.

There are still a few features that I need third party support or account activation on such as Push notification, peer-to-peer, in app purchases, third party accessories and MMS but I can impart my experience and opinion on what I have seen.

The 3.0 for starters isn’t a groundbreaking update in the way 2.0 was. Its more polish and much has been made of how only Apple could make cut and paste a main feature. However it does fill many holes and improve of a number of features that keeps it ahead of the competition.

The cut and paste does actually work really well and I have used it a number of times. It is easy to take for granted after having it for a while. I’ve used it mostly where I want to chuck web page text back into a google search. Funnily enough i only found the shake to undo the other day by accident when I dropped my phone

The landscape keyboard has increased my texting speed on SMS and its nice to have that option consistent across more apps.

I’ve only used the spotlight search once to try it out. I tend to forget its there. You can browse to the left of the home screen with a swipe or from the home screen, press the home button which will take you to the search. I think its the nature of the phone in that the stuff I would search for is either notes or contacts so in each case I would tend to go direct. Its not like a computer where I have a load of documents to search.

Having just mentioned the notes, this is one of the biggest features for me. Note synching. I have loads of notes mainly because my memory is shit and to finally have them sync is a godsend. Its the little things with 3.0 that make the difference and its also nice to see public calendars sync also. However I would have liked tasks. As it is I’ve resorted to the Things App both on the iPhone and desktop. It was nice to see Things winning an Apple design award the other day as it is a great app.

What else deserves a mention? I turned shake to shuffle off as it shuffled my music once purely by putting the iPhone in my pocket a little more forcefully than usual. I don’t use the voice recorder much although I have tried it and its nice to see the voice notes sync with iTunes.

A final thing on 3.0 is the find my phone feature. YOu have to have a MobileMe sub for it to work and you then can enable it on your phone. It went live the other day so I tried it last night. I logged onto MobileMe on the web and withing a few moments it told me exactly where my phone was, on the desk next to me. I had the option to make my phone bleep (even if set to silent) and to send a message. I typed in “Give me my phone back, you bastard” and within a few minutes it was displayed on the phone with a beeping noise. What was also nice is that having confirmed that it had been displayed I then got an email.

“Dear MobileMe member,

The message sent at 6:02 PM on June 10, 2009 has been displayed on Martin’s iPhone at 6:06 PM on June 10, 2009:

Give me my phone back, you bastard”

That’s pretty much it. If you have any questions I’d be happy to answer them but you’ll know yourself by next Wednesday. Just in time for the next podcast no doubt.

It was interesting to see people agonising over the options. What they often fail to say is that most 3G owners who upgraded from the original iPhone are in an 18 month contract. I know that mine expires in Feb 2010 and I have seen that £35 customers only get the option for a 1 month early upgrade. Jan… f*cking fantastic.

The suggested option is to get a PAYG, but at that price?! I do have a further option as my wife uses a PAYG sim in my original iPhone and she is spending upto and in excess of £35 on credit so I plan to sign her up for a contract, put her sim in my 3G and have the 3GS for myself (its only fair.. I will have paid £270 odd).

I do however keep stepping out of the Apple “must have” hypnosis. What will the 3GS really give me?

Video. Nice but I rarely used video on my phone pre-iPhone

Compass. It may make Tom Tom more accurate, but isn’t Tom Tom still going to be available on 3G (even if slightly less accurate – my Go700 doesn’t have a compass does it?)

Battery life. Mines ok as it is. Its regularly on a cradle and having turned off pull mail every 15 mins my battery capacity has increased ten fold. Those who want me NOW! send mail to my MobileMe push account or SMS me.

Faster processor. Mines fast enough and I can’t think of a 3G app that suffers from speed to any great degree.

Better camera and auto focus. Happy with the one it has now. If I want a better shot I’ll break out the Nikon.

Tethering. On O2′s prices? Don’t take the piss!

I think I’ve just talked myself into keeping my money in my pocket. What else am I going to spend it on now?

Oh, and don’t forget to sign the Twitter petition

That said, the truth is that Twitter just suits my habits. It often takes me a while to think of anything I feel I need to say and when I do I’ve either moved on to something else, said it on Skype, Tweeted it or dumped it on some forum post.

I’m afraid that the blog will continue to take a supporting role in the play that is my life.

You can always follow me

But for now I will just enjoy where I am right now

What if I told you that going to the toilet now had a industry accepted methodology and required a qualification to prove that you were accredited to take even the smallest number two? That even considering the smallest deposit without the correct rubber stamped paperwork branded you an amateur in the eyes of the industry that is the lavatory, a sub standard pooper?

Well that’s what I’m feeling about this PRINCE2 business. I’d never even heard of it before the back end of last year when I put my CV together let alone know that it was an industry standard. Suddenly I’m faced with everyone wanting PRINCE2 qualifications and experience to even be considered. Faced with this I thought it prudent to at least go and take a look at what the fuss was all about. That’s when I started to get the red mist.

Ok, I’m all for project control and accountability. I’m born out of an ISO9000/9001 environment and have always worked to standards. I come from an engineering background and have worked for many years in a projects department so the philosophy is deep in my grain. Furthermore I come from an industrial process control background full of PLC programming, Closed Loop and PID control. That’s the way my mind works. I can look at any process, map it out and then code that process to tell the brain of a ‘dumb’ controller how to handle that process with all its given input information and output the correct response to achieve its goal. Much of my experience was all pre 1995 at which time I took on a full time role of IT management, something that I have been doing for the previous 10 years alongside my other duties. However now I’m told that without a methodology, that was only published in 1996, I’m not capable or at least not until I have spent a load of cash to sit the training course and exam. Don’t give me that bollocks!

PRINCE2 is just a process based method for project managers who don’t understand process control. Its a simple closed loop to ensure effective project deliver. It’s second nature to me, its what I do. Much like having a shit!

The most mundane of events can also mark a timeline. Every week on Friday the bin bags get put out for collection and I get an email every Thursdays telling what’s on at the cinema.

Time passes and we keep moving forward yet I still hear the Langoliers getting closer to me.

I do have a trip to Donington next week to see the World Series by Renault having applied for free tickets a while back. I had initially planned to do the whole weekend so that we could take in the Saturday night concert but with the circuts camp site closed I didn’t want to have to worry about a drive back to a hotel afterwards limiting my intake of sherbet

Earlier this week I had a knock at the door which turned out to be my neighbour. They are of the religious persuasion and do this evangelist stuff, I think, I don’t do religion and go out of my way to avoid it. Anyway, we have the occasional visit to ask neighbourly thing such as “how’s the family” and “can you stop your dog shitting in my garden”, all the usual idle chit chat. I noticed that on this occasion he was clutching a handful of leaflets. We often have a leaflet appear through the letterbox at Christmas and Easter but I was a little concerned that this one was being hand delivered. It turned out to be an invite to a “Mens’ Breakfast” at the local community church on the 8th September. I knew exactly where I would be on the Saturday morning as it’s the weekend of the aforementioned World Series. Despite knowing that I would be free, and wishing that I could take the easy route and say that I would be away, I remained politely interested but non-commital hoping the moment would pass. That’s when I got blind sided. Taking it as an acceptance, with me standing there with the invite now in my hand, he asked if I would be so kind as to drive. Nooooooooo! I can’t get out of it now! I suspect that the availability of bacon and sausage barms, coissants and danish pastries will be little consolation.

I suspect that next Saturday morning will drag so as to compensate for this years apparently fast passage of time thus far.

Stop laughing…

It this really my sub-conscious? Calling Dr. Freud!

I think I’d like to bake a cake for a village fete…

or grow a large turnip…

I can see myself as that person with a chequered shirt, holes in a green jumper, pants held up with rope and wellies…

no cap though.. wild hair.. all grey…

I think I’d like a tractor…

Jayne could dye her hair to look like Felicity Kendal…

hmm… I’d like that…

I’d have sheep. Pigs smell and cows shit too much so, yes, I think I’d like sheep…

and a donkey.